There is only one happiness in life, to love and to be loved

There is only one happiness in life, to love and to be loved. –George Sand


Love is like playing baseball: you’re running to catch it, throwing it out to be caught, hitting a home run, or totally off base. If you’re hitting a home run, let this serve as a refreshing reminder to the bliss you’ve worked hard to achieve and maintain. If you find yourself continuously striking out, these helpful hints may get you in the ball park.

#1 Q. I feel like in order to get a guy to really be into me, there are unspoken rules. Don’t you have to play games sometimes to get the man you want?

In the game of love, there are no rules. The winners learn that true love doesn’t require you to play games at all.

#2 Q. I want a mate, but I keep attracting the same wrong types of women/ men.

To thine own self be true.
Before searching for a mate, it’s important to gain clarity about whom you are and where you are in life. Identify qualities in yourself that make you wonderful. For example, be clear about your faith, career goals, family goals, passion, hobbies, strengths and weaknesses. Are you mentally stable or emotionally capable bringing someone into your world? If the answer is no, fantastic! Take more time to become more stable alone before taking on the emotional life of a significant other. If you can barely stand looking at yourself in the mirror, work on loving yourself first. Find a counselor or trusted individual who can help guide you through the process of sorting out past pains or choices that have thrown you off base. Despite your flaws and imperfections, give yourself permission to truly love who you are right now.

#3 How do I know if what I want in a mate matches with what God has for me?

Enter a "Season of Stillness"
Weather you are a serial dater or a home-body who rarely dates, entering a season of stillness can be a very healthy and liberating time. Embrace stillness for a season to gain more intimacy with God (how ever long you choose our season to be). Begin asking for complete healing in your life so that you can be the mate God intended for you to be. If you have slept with multiple partners in the past, this season is a great time to air out the old to create room for the new. “Behold I am doing a new thing; now it shall spring forth” Isaiah 43:19. During this season where you are consecrating yourself before God, make a list of what you desire in a mate. Being led by the Holy Spirit will help you reflect on what has worked, what hasn’t and what you want and need in a partner. Discover what traits you can negotiate with and what your must-haves are. Now evaluate the list. Are your expectations realistic and do they match up with who you are and what you are bringing to the table?

#4. Q. I’m dating someone that I’m really into, we have most things in common except our convictions about Christ.

Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? And what communion hath light with darkness?
2 Corinthians 6:14

Once you have clearly defined who you are and come out of your season of stillness, it will be easier to identify qualities you need in a mate, and naturally weed out the disasters. If you have made the decision to honor God through celibacy, it may not be a good idea to spend too much time dating someone who is totally closed to this idea. The bible clearly states, not to be unequally yoked with unbelievers. As cold as it may seem, if your faith is a top priority in your life, God requires you to be yoked together with a person of faith. Before you can recognize your soul mate, you must also have a clear understanding of who you are in Christ. Once you have clarity about who you are in Christ, you can express these truths while dating and relating to others. For starters, you may realize marriage really isn’t a priority at all and you enjoy being single. This is great to know so that you aren’t stringing others along. You now have the freedom to be up front and can spend time with those who like flying solo as well. No matter what your position is, always bring your personal truth to the table. You may discover monogamy and marriage is a top priority. If this is the case, begin asking God to prepare you for your chosen mate.

#5 Purposeful Preparations
Would an Olympic swimmer preparing for a race smoke a pack of cigarettes a day?

Chances are, smoking cigarettes would be in direct opposition of winning the race. If you are trying to improve your dating pool and eventually be led to your chosen husband or wife, make sure your lifestyle correlates with your future. Stay away from game playing and promiscuity. Use discernment while dating. God instructs us o seek Him first, and all other things will be added (this includes that desired mate) Keep an open heart. Even if you have been hurt in the past, doing steps 1-4 will make it easier to approach the courting phase with an open mind and heart.

Even if it seems everyone around you is finding love, do not dismay, God will link you to your chosen mate at the right time. In the meantime, have fun, keep seeking God for your purpose and let him steer you to the right person. Know that with God as the pitcher, you will eventually hit a home run!

Pray this prayer with me:
Dear Lord, I need you. Despite my sometimes bitter attitude and behavior I desire to love and be loved. Forgive me for giving sharing my spirit with those who were not intended by you. Help me to discern between lust and love. I find it hard to trust, as I have given my trust to many of the wrong people in times past. I don’t want to be jaded. Give me a clean and open heart to date and wait for my chosen mate. Heal me from my past hurts and mistakes. Deliver me from strongholds and sexual addictions. Prepare me to be the husband/wife you have created and give me a willing spirit that is able to give and receive unconditional love.